interview with Bebe Zeva

On December 18th, I emailed Bebe Zeva (microfamous fashion icon, Hipster Runoff model, and Twitter comedienne) 13 questions. She responded the next day with the following:

(photo by tolga katas via technorazzi)

travel suggestions for las vegas, NV

Book your hotel online. Stay near the Strip. Bring earplugs/ambien if you're a light sleeper. Get a room with a fridge and a view. Don't sit on the comforter on your bed without pants on if you stay somewhere cheap. If you don't smoke, pick up smoking during your stay. Dress to kill. Get drunk in public before noon. Carry identification, petty cash, and a credit card close to hand. Walk the Strip. Start early afternoon at the Fashion Show Mall and keep walking. Don't hurry. Take pictures of everything you see, which will include a lot of Asian people taking pictures. Give money to street performers. Don't give money to homeless people. Buy anything that sparkles. Try haggling with street vendors. Eat cheap food. The best buffet is at The Rio and ranges from 20-30 USD as of Dec. 2010 but there's street food everywhere. Walk through the Bellagio, City Center, The Cosmopolitan, and by the fake Eiffel Tower, the fake Pyramid, Camelot, and Caesar's Palace. Go to fake New York and ride the roller coaster (like 30 bucks). Accept all the business cards for hookers you will be handed by short Pacific Islanders in matching t-shirts. Invent a trading card game to play with your new deck. Go to a show if that's your thing. You can get half-price tickets at most hotels. Gamble only with cash and skip the 'player's card'. Play craps, blackjack, and roulette if you want to win money. Ignore the slots. Bring your own cocktail. Talk to strangers. Ask someone who looks knowledgable how to bet and ignore them if you want. Make up a different life story for yourself for each stranger you meet. Go dancing at some place with no cover or get cheap tickets from a promoter who will be yelling 'night clubs'. Don't go to the club until 1-2am. Order room service and pay-per-view porn. Trash your hotel room. Have sex but don't pay for it. Turn your phone off. When your friends ask you how your trip was, say 'fine'.

they're in the kitchen, I'm pressed against the door listening

dad isn't cool with the way I live my life in their house
dad told my brother to beat me up and mom yelled

mom and dad are talking about me in the kitchen
mom and dad are yelling about me in the kitchen

I'm pressed against the door listening, mom won't quit talking
dad is yelling, I call mom a cunt and now they are paying attention to me

I see something like fury in mom's eyes
she runs towards me while pulling off her pajama pants
pulling off her underwear, grabbing her vulva
fingers laced through ash blond pubes

this is my cunt, this is my cunt
you can't have it, it's taken

I don't want it

this is my cunt, this is my cunt

she's in my face with tears in her eyes
they never taught me what respect means

if you ever call me a cunt again, you will not walk through that front door
ever again

I say that I'm sorely tempted
I say pull your pants up

xxmass

neighborhood bad boy
fresh cinnamon apples spark fire
delicious clouds pouring flakes
and half and half into a bowl
the difference between black and white
icyhot leathered skin surfs couches
ramen, bean burrito, christmas card belly
full of sticks and cinders

there is a chapbook

I made a chapbook

here is the very first copy
it contains 10 pieces in 21 pages, weighs 4 ounces and is 4,222 words long








would you like one?

you can have one for $5 + whatever else you think it's worth 

(I will throw in some art/artifacts/other to those who donate  >$5)

I can ship it you internationally, but then please select the $11 option because the postage is more expensive.

Thank you readers for reading.

chapbook plain $5.00 chapbook grande $7.00 chapbook nacho supreme $11.00