travel suggestions for las vegas, NV

Book your hotel online. Stay near the Strip. Bring earplugs/ambien if you're a light sleeper. Get a room with a fridge and a view. Don't sit on the comforter on your bed without pants on if you stay somewhere cheap. If you don't smoke, pick up smoking during your stay. Dress to kill. Get drunk in public before noon. Carry identification, petty cash, and a credit card close to hand. Walk the Strip. Start early afternoon at the Fashion Show Mall and keep walking. Don't hurry. Take pictures of everything you see, which will include a lot of Asian people taking pictures. Give money to street performers. Don't give money to homeless people. Buy anything that sparkles. Try haggling with street vendors. Eat cheap food. The best buffet is at The Rio and ranges from 20-30 USD as of Dec. 2010 but there's street food everywhere. Walk through the Bellagio, City Center, The Cosmopolitan, and by the fake Eiffel Tower, the fake Pyramid, Camelot, and Caesar's Palace. Go to fake New York and ride the roller coaster (like 30 bucks). Accept all the business cards for hookers you will be handed by short Pacific Islanders in matching t-shirts. Invent a trading card game to play with your new deck. Go to a show if that's your thing. You can get half-price tickets at most hotels. Gamble only with cash and skip the 'player's card'. Play craps, blackjack, and roulette if you want to win money. Ignore the slots. Bring your own cocktail. Talk to strangers. Ask someone who looks knowledgable how to bet and ignore them if you want. Make up a different life story for yourself for each stranger you meet. Go dancing at some place with no cover or get cheap tickets from a promoter who will be yelling 'night clubs'. Don't go to the club until 1-2am. Order room service and pay-per-view porn. Trash your hotel room. Have sex but don't pay for it. Turn your phone off. When your friends ask you how your trip was, say 'fine'.