I would know it by the smell

the five flight walk
is ingrained
into my heart rate
along with the
sounds of
my internal dialogue
which has degenerated
into phrases I scream
at myself and at you

and when I get into
a 12 by 12 room
with 8 additional
people smelling
of sweat
I smell you
and freak out
so viscerally
that everyone
left

I'm a winner
for the day
and I pack another
and smile sickly
with your poison
scent in my nose