question

should I start taking my medication again?
I don't know.

ok here is what is going on in my head ok, I don't have a philosophy book, I have no money, I am also having some kind of quarter life crisis (because I will die by 60) and coping with that by never being sober and I think I have destroyed my relationships with about everyone I know, and I have to write an essay tonight, and all I want to do is fall into the smallest warm place and sleep and sleep and sleep and wake up and make breakfast and coffee and read the newspaper then smoke a cigarette and waste the day away with a book for my entire life, ok

someone just unplug me already.